Tonight I’m grateful for the song Millianaro that I just heard for the first time and caused me to dance until I sweat, in the dark, in my kitchen, when I was just heading to turn the big computer off for the night.

I’m grateful I really bombed the Medium Writers Challenge even though when I read the four words that stood as prompts I felt as though it had been designed just for me and it was the greatest opportunity to have really cool eyes on theories and ideas that run my life and drive me crazy with passion. I’m grateful I studder and stumble with things that are high sensation and even so I felt I was decently on track working bit by bit and clarifying my concepts to pound it out. I’m grateful i kept carving out time and monsters would show up to plug those holes… like a friend dropping by with her four children who had just done me a huge favour and wanted to visit so I couldn’t Let myself say please fuck off… like my dog getting bit by a coyote that night, getting away, going missing, getting found, getting my hopes up, and then dying anyways and breaking my crusty heart… like pouring myself into orchestrating the kids zone at the local summer community event two days before the contest closed and absolutely killing it even in the heat of intense grief… like bleeding, getting my moontime, right on time, at the community event, and sending me into the abyss of ideas basically impulsively starting everything from scratch instead of pulling right what I had been working on for weeks… like my baby daddy asking to switch days because the concrete people don’t know he doesn’t work Mondays so I cancel my massage and my full writing…