Tonight I am grateful for the day that just passed … for the child labor I cashed in on and the joy of my three year old as he vacuumed my car.

I am grateful I was paying attention and caught him as he experimented with what size rocks might work … and grateful I wasn’t Constantly attentive so he had the pleasure of coming to tell me he fed the vacuum some coins.

I am grateful, as always, to return to this practice after an unconscious hiatus.

I am grateful for the pressures of the past month and that something seems to be passing… I am grateful for the new moon tomorrow and the seeds I am planting and what might be allowed to grow.

I am grateful for the little bat that I found perished at the foot of my bed earlier this week and the medicine they offered … the confirmation of this time of suspension … of not getting through or needing to do anything … but letting myself be moment to moment open to the feelings passing through … expanding my capacity for allowing high sensation without repercussive shut down.

I am grateful for natural high.

I am grateful for candles and the enthusiasm of fire.

I am grateful for bug bites and the extensive temptation to itch and scratch until I bleed and then to pick and bleed and pick and bleed. I am grateful to be working consciously with substances in my life that aren’t my best friends.

I am grateful that as much as I love the act of rolling and smoking … I am not enjoying the effects in my body and for the first time…