I have thought of these questions so so much over the past decade.... in frustration and agony..... and if you're open to it ... I share that the best relief I have found was in the past year Byron Katie's turn around concept .... when I notice myself thinking about needing or wanting my parents acknowledgment of decades of abuse... I turn it around ... I want and need MY acknowledgment ... and I sit with that ... and its the best flavor of power Ive experienced so far XOXOX