Introducing myself to the MEDIUM community

photo by Alexa Mazarello

HELLO .. hellO.. anyone out there?

I am here because I told myself I would be, and I care immensely about sharing our perspectives on every subject under the Sun. I’m particularly interested in outlier perspectives and inside information. I am a metaphysics maven hungry for energy moving through words in a way that urges and urges me to keep going, to stay open, to be in love with this experience on earth right now.

I am here to move energy in a way that feels respectful of my system.

I am here to inquire about subjects that resonate with me and channel the…

Tonight I am grateful to have a kid on my boob that I adore even though he’s exploring the full spectrum of his own character and hitting me in the face a lot. I’m grateful my tiny titties are still makin the milk and I can provide this form of secure connection at specific times of day.

I’m grateful how much I’ve learned about security through having pets and children in my life. I’m grateful my actual inner security has skyrocketed (with still oh so much room to continue deepening) in these past years of becoming a mother and figuring…

Tonight I am grateful for so much difficulty today, as well as pleasure.

I am grateful to feel kind of blank and disassociated and unsure if I have anything else to write right now, even though most nights I could go on and on forever.

I am grateful to realize that it seems I am often going to bed overflowing with gratitude.

I am grateful there isn’t an absence of gratitude right now, but a numbness… a riding of the edge of massiveness of feeling and I suppose evading the falling into it.

I am grateful to so often feel…

Tonight I am grateful for accomplishing my goal of getting through two modules of my course. I am grateful I woke up stoked to start and that I did not have to force myself at all.

I am grateful I stayed up late for the first time in weeks and so I didn’t Wake up until 1015!

I’m grateful I got into the forest this evening before the dark took over. I’m grateful I hugged a couple trees.

I’m grateful my dog is so sweet and so chill but also excitable and spirited. …

Tonight I am grateful for season four of Good Girls and my ongoing commitment to releasing tv from my life and my love of betrayal of my commitments.

I am grateful for making art and making love (with myself).

I am grateful to be becoming a video call person.

I’m grateful I said to my baby daddy yesterday that I probably need to have zero boyfriends rather than three four or five… but that right now in this moment I’m super stoked on all three currently.

I’m grateful for the Sophia Rising Leadership program I’m in right now and the…

Tonight I’m grateful for the song Millianaro that I just heard for the first time and caused me to dance until I sweat, in the dark, in my kitchen, when I was just heading to turn the big computer off for the night.

I’m grateful I really bombed the Medium Writers Challenge even though when I read the four words that stood as prompts I felt as though it had been designed just for me and it was the greatest opportunity to have really cool eyes on theories and ideas that run my life and drive me crazy with passion…

A letter to the person born of me — part IV

Image by author using Photo by Harry Quan on Unsplash

I catch myself saying to you often, my love, my child, my boy, and I want to take this opportunity to underscore that I aim never to possess or define you.

When I was carrying you in my womb I made a long trip to tell my family in person. It was not an extremely successful seven-week excursion. The dog’s babysitter gave up after two days necessitating an elaborate plan which involved many people’s hands getting bit. And the rest rather followed suit.

When I arrived at my Dad’s place, his wife cornered me and said she was going to…

A letter to my little white boy — part III

Image by author using Photo by Mockup Graphics on Unsplash & Photo by arianka ibarra on Unsplash & Photo by Lauren Mancke on Unsplash

We have big work to do this lifetime and it’s annoying because it’s mostly invisible in a world grooming us to want public recognition. We are going to have to continuously steady ourselves against the grain.

I keep having to notice how potent the grain of our social landscape is. How it sucks me in and away from you, away from play, away from presence.

I put myself out there in the world to see if I can support us using my relatively unusual awareness and skills. I get some bites and also backlash.

Everything is in balance.

The backlash…

A letter to my ND child — part II

Image by author using Photo by Paul Cuoco on Unsplash edited by author & Photo by Phil Korn on Unsplash

I am dying for death. I feel the intensity of craving for everything and nothingness beneath absolutely every other urge this life offers me. And offering is all she does.

I am dying to be one who follows my urges appreciating rather than denying sensation.

How many people respond to me aggressively about leaving them alone with my focus on SEMANTICS.

I’m not going that deep with you.

I don’t want to be like you.

Don’t tell me how I feel.

I wonder if you will become one of them. This might be the only thing in the universe I…

A letter to my young son — part I

Image by the author using Photo by Nick Bolton on Unsplash & Photo by Clem Onojeghuo on Unsplash

We are re-entering a reality of being self-centered individuals operating on a copacetic interdependent matrix.

It was your dad that introduced me to the word, copacetic:

in excellent order.

He used it all the time to describe his dream reality of all the people in his life getting along and especially of his aspirations around the co-parenting environment between him and your sister’s mom.

I cannot say that any of that has come to fruition yet, but I can say how learning this word has affected me: immensely.

Growing up in a broken home with people who, in retrospect, had…

Kelsey Jean Marie

electric embodiment expert EXPANSION GUIDE >>>> neurodiveregence & radical compassion enthusiast >>>>> DCFO 30 day challenge >> <<<<<

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